Last time, the editorial department posted an article "59 days just mother, almost crazy!"", Gives a series of very professional and practical suggestions for the emotional problems of novice mothers.
Unexpectedly, such a gentle and rational article about women’s self -growth has attracted some inexplicable hostility of some male readers.
When I saw this passage, I was taking care of Xiaomi, who had not returned from a high fever, and I had been unskilled for three consecutive days.
This year, Germany’s influenza is particularly serious. Most of them are sick children and mothers like me like me. However, the experience of bringing babies throughout the year has made us uncomfortable, and our hearts have no waves.
There was nothing emotional, but the blood pressure was a bit high by this pile of exclamation marks.
Two years ago, I probably had been furious, but in the past two years, I saw it away and sublimated.
The key to eliminating gender barriers is not to debate, but lighter.
Otherwise, men always think that they have the truth of the universe.
For example, this one is confident in the words:
Although I have never been a mother, I just understand; although I have never raised female animals, I just understand; how hard we read articles, of course, you can scold and scold.Just dare to have a small emotion, you also match?
Let’s say that, my brother DEI has no knowledge to have common sense, and there is no common sense to know how to cover up.
Do you know how to match this way, do your mother know?
Let’s scan a blind first, harm!
Regarding the love of children, a weird theory was popular on the market. It is natural that mother love is natural, and fatherly love is acquired.
It means that as long as a woman takes the child’s life, a mysterious switch in the body will automatically open, and the mother loves this gadget.
What is a woman?Sorry, this theory is not responsible for explanation.
Men, without this switch, so I can do my best, indifferent, and indifferent, and lying on my mobile phone.
You can’t blame men. You can only understand them, accept them, cultivate them, and guide them to slowly have fatherly love in constant efforts.
So the dare to love women not only raise children after giving birth, but also support father’s love?
It’s definitely one word!
To be honest, this set of ghosts almost believed before.
Until I gave birth to a child in myself, twice.
When I saw the child ’s birth, I fell in love with TA madly from now on making cows and horses and self -sacrifice?
Don’t tease, the Virgin of this script is exaggerated when he watched it.
If you go to an interview with ordinary humans, you will find that most women are at first glance when they see their children, the most instinctual response is actually two words:
I was in strangeness, with fear in curiosity, no excitement and ecstasy in expected, but more about the exhaustion and release of the painfulness after the painful and long delivery process.
I have a girlfriend even bluntly, and the psychological activity of that moment is:
Ah, just gave birth?
Why is it so ugly.EssenceEssence
Looking at the wrinkled little guy, let alone love, even a little disappointed and disappointed.
——The TV series are deceived, welcome to the real world.
The starting point of the maternal duty is not the mysterious chemical substance of "mother love" at all, and there is a sudden bursting. On the contrary, the hormone level of the postpartum maternal body fluctuates violently.
The starting point of the mother’s position is strong rationality and responsibility:
This is my child and must be responsible for TA, and there is no choice but to choose.
Like motherly love, it is gradually produced in the process of constantly paying, and slowly accumulates in interaction with the child’s tenderness.
Over time, it matures with experience.
Today, my girlfriend has already become an excellent mother, raising two congenital premature babies with severe development of innate development, and she is loving.
In the years, there are all kinds of hardships and countless efforts. Whoever listened to it would be respectful, and it was amazing.
How can there be a great mother in the world?They used to be just a weak woman, and at first glance they saw the children they gave birth to even dare to pick up.
Yes, even how to hold a child needs to learn.
What they need to learn more is how to face the life that they have changed suddenly.
Every woman becomes a real mother, and she will inevitably experience a process of pain, anxiety, fatigue, grievances, and struggle. Tear in selfishness and selflessness, and fight between me and the superego.
This process may be short or long, but it is not possible.
We cannot say that children need to grow and their father needs to grow, but the mother must do it overnight, not even the confusion.
We need to be vigilant that those who advocate that "mother love is natural" is not only ignorant, but also shameless.
They want to tie all their mothers to the altar and deprive them of the most basic rights of mortals. They are not allowed to be fragile, but maybe they are strong.
And they don’t have to do anything, just one stop at a moral highland can point to draw and talk about three.
There is still a wonderful thinking logic on the market. As long as maternal love is said, he likes to associate and talk about female animals, and use the behavior of female animals as a benchmark to bury it, or even attack women.
I dare to say that people with such thinking are not as good as elementary school students about the amount of knowledge of animals.
Whenever you have seen "Animal World", you will know that most animal cubs in nature are raised by both parents. Promo, parenting, and security need to be reasonable to divide the labor and perform their duties.
Some animals even need group breeding, and the entire "community" is dispatched. It can be seen how heavy and complicated the descendants are.
There are also many "super -dad dads" in the animal world. For example, the emperor penguin will incubate eggs at home to support his wife to go out to "engage in career", such as hippocampus, even if you are pregnantAnd giving birth to a small hippocampus.
Compared to females, the male hippocampus has one more "parenting bag"
It’s strange that the behavior of these male animals didn’t see anyone to preach, pointing to a father’s nose and saying that you are not as good as an animal.
However, everyone’s expectations for their mother are surprisingly high, and they are expected to be all eighteen martial arts arts, and they have to work hard.
Although such female animals are rare in nature, they are not without. They can hunt food, can also take care of young children, but also repel strong enemies.EssenceEssence
Let me say one, mother tiger.
No accident, surprise?
In the home pet, "Paradox Parenting" is more common.
The unique role of male livestock/pet is the breeding. There is nothing wrong with one after one night state, because powerful humans provide various follow -up services.
Coincidentally, I just did this "artificial customer service" not long ago.
Old readers know that there is a Malzis dog in my family who also wrote a "Oh!" For it!I actually raised a dog in Germany. "Friends who like Duanzi can read it, very happy.
About three weeks ago, the dog gave birth to four dog cubs, and I accompanied it for seven days and nights.
Therefore, when I saw the former brother DEI said, "Even the female animals will do meticulous", a sip of saliva was sprayed on the spot.
Objective?What’s wrong with this?
Do you know if there is no human help, would some dogs even bite the umbilical cord?
Do you know that even breastfeeding is not a nature. Do some dogs do not care about their children at all?
You do n’t know, you do n’t know that dog cubs need scientific feeding, nor do you know that dog mothers need postpartum care, otherwise they will face a thing called “mortality”.
You only live in your own world, and imagine that all female animals are supernatural and highly high, and automatically serve your theoretical.
Whenever I have seen a dog’s production process, there is a little kindness and compassion in all my hearts, so I will not talk about "female animals" so much and nonsense.
My Malzis gave birth to four babies and took three hours.
When I helped it cut the umbilical cord of the fourth baby, it completely collapsed and fell asleep.
For the first time, I saw a dog that was so aimlessly fell asleep like this, and I lost all my consciousness in a moment, so that I couldn’t tell whether I fell asleep, became unconscious, or died.
On the face, on the legs, the body was full of blood, and even the entire tail became red.
The newly born dog cub was deaf and blind. I couldn’t find my mother or crawl. I drank the first milk of the dog with my help.
The dog mother completely lost consciousness
On the first night, I almost didn’t sleep, woke up by the squeak of the dog cubs again and again, put them on the big dogs and drink milk again and again, and got up again and again to see if they were pressed or stuffed by the big dog.Feed the big dogs with water and liquid.
Like people, the dog’s gastrointestinal gastrointestinal after delivery is extremely weak, unable to digest meat, and feeds a bit of snacks it usually likes to eat. It almost spit out.
Early the next morning, the dog escaped from the delivery room and hid in the corner.
It didn’t go out as usual, and even saw me even shook her tail.
The endless breastfeeding has exhausted it. Obviously it is not used to it and does not like it.
The dogs waiting to be fed in the delivery room were called one piece. The big dogs lying in the corner and wondered the dog life, and did not want to go back.
Four words on your face: Don’t get rid of edge
I took it back to the delivery room and told it that it was very hard to be a mother, but the baby needed you, and then put the four cubs on it.
Its dog legs kick and kick two.
I stroked it and stuffed the two to it.
It didn’t give it face at all, turned over, gave a back, and rolled down from it and could not drink milk.
I had to check "the big dog does not care about the puppy after giving birth."
What else can I do?It can only be plugged again, and it is stopped until it is no longer resisting.
I stroked the dog again and again, watching it panting the body with a weak body, and the body was fiercely undulating while breastfeeding.
It hasn’t understood what happened. Why did the daily life suddenly become like this when I wanted to sleep?
Why was it trapped by a few squeaks?
Finally, while I was going to prepare dog food, the dogs stuffed all the four small only into the quilt at the fastest speed, fled to the other end of the delivery room, and went to make up.
Do not leave?nonexistent!Can’t avoid it
I can’t cry and laugh.
In the past, I often joked with people and said, "I only have motherly love when I sleep well, and I can’t sleep gradually." You see, how serious the lack of consciousness is, even the dog does not talk about martial arts.
So, for those mothers who take care of babies for a long time, have a little tolerance for mothers with severe lack of sleep!
It is always easy to accuse others, but can you do it yourself?
On the third day, the dog threw a toy in the delivery room.
This toy is what it usually likes to play. When you bite, you will make a sound, and you have a sense of accomplishment to capture the prey.
I thought this thing was hindered and took it out, but it threw it in again, very stubborn.
Put it in the delivery room, the dog does not bite, just holding it silently.
Holding while sleeping, and holding it while breastfeeding.
It’s as if it is a kind of connection with the past life, and you can return to your past as long as you get up.
After the production, the dog was dirty and smelly, and it was like two dogs as before.
Before production VS before production
Because you can’t take a bath to follow the doctor’s advice, the dog is very unhappy. As soon as you have time, you will lick your blood -stained hair as soon as you have time, over and over again.
When it was really depressed, it hid in the cage and planed it crazy.
The cage was sent by the owner when he bought it at the time. He was already too small. He never threw it because the dog would hide in to find a sense of security.
When I heard the cage moved by the dog to shake the sound of the mountain, I silently drifted through the five words "postpartum bipolar disorder" in my mind.
That night, the dog jumped into my bed.
It is absolutely prohibited to go to bed, but this time, I was holding a dirty and smelly dog with stains, letting it sleep down.
On the fourth day, the dog finally shook my tail at me.
It lay on the ground and exposed the belly, as coquettish as before.
I don’t know why, my eyes were suddenly wet.
In the evening, it wanted to play the ball. I played with it for a while, and it couldn’t move quickly, but very happy.
On the fifth day, the dog ran to the door early in the morning and wanted to go out.
I put it on it and took it to the door for a small circle.
After returning, it took the initiative to visit the puppy for the first time, awkwardly put them one by one to him, lying down and feeding.
A week later, the big dog’s call for the puppy responded immediately. No matter where they were, they would immediately get up and rush into the delivery room. First lick them to soothe, then sophisticated posture to breastfeed.
Even when it was walking out, it was not willing to go home as before, but rushed back in a hurry as soon as it was done.
It no longer needs me to help. During the day and night, I can take care of the cubs properly, and finally a dog takes up everything.
Already a mature dog mother, I can breastfeed myself
One week, seven days, this is the time required for a dog’s novice.
The average pregnancy time of dogs is 63 days, and the cub is adult one year after birth.
The average pregnancy time of human beings is nine months, and it takes eighteen years to raise infants into adulthood.
Although I have always felt that it is ridiculous to compare humans and animals, but I can’t help it. There are always some clever ways to think about.
So how much time does human mother’s novice on the road?
By the way, human children need the college entrance examination, and human mother needs to go to work. I am afraid that even dogs will sigh when they listen!
I have always felt that I am a very lucky mother.
It’s not because many people help me share the responsibility of parenting. On the contrary, my mother has been here twice except for confinement. At other times, I am almost a child.Get started.
However, in the matter of parenting, I have no mental internal consumption.
No one has reminded me of "you are a mother". On the contrary, everyone around him supports me "you can be yourself."
When my mother helped me sit in confinement, I always took the child and said, you go to the net for a while and relax;
On the day when the confinement was released, with the strong support of my family, I left my child to go out and stroll around;
Occasionally at home on weekends, my teammates will encourage me to sleep lazy, and then go to drink afternoon tea with my girlfriend, and the child will return;
Every year, I return to the country for vacation, and my in -laws can not help but take the initiative to bring my children, let me and my teammates play around, and the "honeymoon".EssenceEssence
No one has always talked about her mother, trying to remind me how to be a mother, they all understand that it is not easy, allowing me to escape occasionally.
Wonderful that every time I fled back, I became more like a mother.
I can push the stroller to the children’s medical clinic in the snow and snow. When the elevator is broken, I can drag the first -level baby vehicle to the steps of the subway station. After entering the door, I can take off the two children’s cotton clothes in minutes.Cotton pants, then put it on quickly when you go out, you can calmly discuss the condition with the doctor in the deafening crying sound of the two children;
I can move with two children and more than two hundred boxes. I can cook in the kitchen that had no time to install the cabinet, and then transport the tableware to the bathroom to clean it.The box is sorted out;
I can get a trick with various viruses in every fall or winter. Taking care of children who are ill at the same time day and night or take turns to go back and forth in three rooms at night, change the boss’s sheets and then replace the second child. In dawnWash and dry it before;
I can seamlessly connect the children’s various interest classes and pick them up to various localities to train, rehearse or competition. They can go to the library without storms.EssenceEssence
I never thought about how to sacrifice myself to complete the role of my mother.
Before taking care of children, I always take care of my body and emotions, and ensure that there is no sense of giving or grievances.
I think that a woman to grow into a qualified mother is particularly important at first understanding and support, because:
First, mother love is not natural, selfishness is natural, regardless of men and women.
Human beings never have selfless dedication. Do n’t expect women to have things that men do n’t expect. Do n’t expect what you have before giving birth.
There is a child to have children, not to be promoted.
For human beings, greedy life is natural, and good and evil is the nature of nature.
Therefore, a mother will also be afraid of suffering and tired. When she is sleepy, she wants to go to sleep. When she is annoyed, she wants to escape. When she is bored, she wants to play with tears. When she is grieving, she is complained when she is depressed.
Allowing a mother to immature is a necessary condition for her courage to mature.
Because only when a person can face his selfish side can it really defeat it.
The reason why real mother love is great is precisely because women overcome the weaknesses of human nature in the process of actively growing.
If these weaknesses do not exist, what great is there?
Second, it is impossible for people to give things they have never got.
Only when a woman has loved her own love can she give her love to her children.
The essence of love is transmission, not creation.
If you want a mother to love her, then be kind to her instead of blame her blindly.
At the moment you understand her and the moment you catch her emotions, she will leave gratitude in her heart.
This gratitude will eventually turn into tenderness, and eventually arrives on her child.
On the contrary, any blame for the mother will turn into anger and grievances, and will eventually be applied to the child.
So, what you want your children to get, first give them the mother.
Third, the descendants of human beings require division of labor.
An important symbol of human beings different from animals is a strong ability to divide labor.
As the smallest unit of society, the important reason for it is to better raise offspring.
If you blindly emphasize your mother’s position and ask the mother to take on the responsibility of parenting independently, then this advantage of the family will be lost.
How difficult is it to have an isolated mother’s parenting in modern society. Have anyone thought about it?
If not, it is recommended to think about the mother tiger first.
This is science, not a joke.
If a smart man wants to cultivate excellent offspring, he will definitely understand what role he should take on.
No brain advocating "motherly love is natural", trying to abduct women with morality is just the worst trick.
On November 26, I flew a trip to watch Liu Ruoying’s concert.
At the scene, I saw many mothers who came from European countries, about me, dropped their teammates and children, and came with my girlfriends.
At that moment, I suddenly remembered that Qi Qi said that the famous argument "Mom chasing the stars without the home, do you want to discourage it", I feel inexplicable and interesting.
In fact, this is a paradox.
If a mother has the right to chase stars at any time, she can leave home at any time, then she will definitely return quickly after leaving.
Because this home is full of tolerance and tenderness, it is reluctant to leave.
And a mother who chased the stars outside the star must have a suffocating home. Neither the bear child and the bear husband were not worrying.
If this is the point, is it still useful?
When a woman was old but innocent, a girl insisted on trying to marry Jin Dong. When a woman stroked the child, she resolutely left her home and drove alone.
Therefore, never kidnap a mother in any way, which is useless.
There is a time limit for mother positions, and women’s awakening will never be too late.
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