I have watched an interview program about parent -child identification. A senior staff member who has been engaged in parent -child appraisal for nearly 20 years said: Even if we can’t do loyalty to love, at least we must be loyal to marriage.The most basic bottom line, if you do n’t even have this, what else do you talk about?
There are many things that can be tolerant of marriage, but not everything can be tolerant. Marriage combined with lies is destined to get happiness, because a lie always needs countless lies to circle.
Shortly after Zhang Jian was married to his wife, he learned that his wife was pregnant with someone else’s children. In the face of the sudden situation, Zhang Jian would choose to do?Let’s take a look at Zhang Jian’s story.
Zhang Jian and Xiaofang are a newlywed couple. The two have not been married long after they are married. They are in the stage of newly married Yanser. The relationship should be very sweet, but the mediation staff cannot see any sweetness from the expression of the two. Zhang JianWith anger, a frowning face, and Xiaofang looked like he didn’t want to say a word to Zhang Jian.
As a result, the two people are now incapable of water and fire. They have to be unwilling to have a room with Zhang Jian after marriage, but they have a child who is pregnant with others.
Zhang Jian told the mediator that he was the only child in the family, so his parents were very concerned about his marriage. Children in rural areas are generally married very early. He has not been able to become a family when he is 30 years old.To the daughter -in -law, his parents were anxious about his marriage.
Later, after being introduced by the matchmaker, he met Xiaofang, who was in the same province as him but in different cities. At that time, Xiaofang worked outside and the two did not meet. After listening to the basic situation of Xiaofang, he only passed through the situation.Network contact.
According to the matchmaker, Zhang Jian knows that Xiaofang’s situation is the same as him, and he has not found a suitable object when he is old. Therefore, Zhang Jian believes that Xiaofang is the same as him.The history of love is complicated, otherwise it may be retreat now.
After the two chatted online for a while, Zhang Jian felt that he talked very much with Xiaofang. The two got along like a different place in a different place. Zhang Jian knew that it was not easy to find a daughter -in -law, so it was not easy to find a daughter -in -law.Feeling with Xiaofang.
After meeting half a year, the two met for the first time, and Zhang Jian proposed to engage with Xiaofang, and Xiao Fang had no objection to Zhang Jian’s proposal.
The reason why Zhang Jian was engaged with Xiaofang was just because it was normal to do so in the countryside. Many husbands and wives had no emotional foundation before marriage, but after the family was formed, the relationship was slowly cultivated.
Moreover, Zhang Jian’s own conditions are not good. If you don’t hurry, the more difficult it is to find the right daughter -in -law.
In order to marry a daughter -in -law this time, the Zhang family can be described as all the borrowed foreign debt, and it took almost 200,000 before and after.However, Zhang Jian believes that everything is worth it. After all, with his wife, he is considered a home. As long as the two people are in one place, the money owed will be cleared soon.
Who knows, the newlywed life is not as happy as Zhang Jian’s imagination. On the first night of the newlywed, Zhang Jian sent the guests to return to the cave room and wanted to spend the beautiful cave house with the newlywed wife Xiaofang.Fang pushed away.
Xiaofang was unwilling to the same room with Zhang Jian on the grounds of physical discomfort.
At the beginning, Zhang Jian felt that Xiao Fang was shy, and he hadn’t adapted to a person who had lived one more person to live together, so he did not force her, but by the next night, Xiaofang still rejected Zhang Jian’s request for the same reason.Not only that, she also proposed to sleep in bed, let Zhang Jian sleep on the ground, and she slept on the bed.
At this time, Zhang Jian was wrong, and he said that he was the sweetest of the wedding life, and Xiaofang’s behavior was too abnormal, so Zhang Jian couldn’t help thinking.
But the two are just newly married. Even if he has doubts, he is not good at proposing to Xiaofang in person. Therefore, he can only take grievances and dissatisfaction, showing more care and love for Xiaofang, hoping to let her put down the alert, andAccept yourself wholeheartedly.
But the more excessive is still behind. Before the two got married, Xiaofang said goodbye, packed all the luggage belonging to her, and never returned.
After finally getting the daughter -in -law who got back, she got such a result. Zhang Jian did not understand whether he was wrong there, so he sent a text message and called to ask Xiaofang to give a statement, but Xiaofang just didn’t tell Zhang Jian. Zhang Jian asked anxiously.She mocked and sarcastically said that she was doing her own business, which had nothing to do with Zhang Jian.
During the communication process, the two often had disputes, which led to further fading the relationship, and Xiaofang was even more reluctant to go home.
After that, Xiaofang brought a very shocking news to Zhang Jian, saying that she was pregnant and proposed to divorce with Zhang Jian.
Zhang Jian was very angry when he learned the news. He questioned Xiaofang: "After we got married, we didn’t even have the same room in the same room. You know who the child is in."
However, Xiaofang did not intend to have too much tangled with Zhang Jian, but just filed a prosecution with the court, demanding that the relationship between the two husbands and wives, the reason is that Zhang Jian had a family violence on her.
Although Xiaofang’s approach is too much, Zhang Jian told the mediator that in order to marry Xiaofang, the family spent nearly 200,000 yuan, and now he owed almost 100,000 foreign debt. I did not expect that this was the result.No, so I don’t want to divorce.
Zhang Jian took the mediator to see his new house. In the cabinet, the dressing table, there was nothing that belonged to Xiaofang. Xiaofang took all her things away, as if she had never settled with Zhang JianLike marriage.
Only the large "hi" and ribbons posted in the room reminded that the room had a pair of new couples.
Zhang Jian knows that Xiaofang’s child is not his own, but he said that marrying a daughter -in -law is also to give birth to a child. It is not easy for him to marry Xiaofang. Therefore, for Xiaofang’s past, he is willing to choose not to investigate.With peace of mind, he would treat him as a child as a biological child as a biological child.
According to Zhang Jian’s request, the mediation staff came to Xiaofang’s rental house and asked her for no other reasons, but the mediator learned another version from Xiaofang.
Xiaofang told the mediation staff that she had to divorce Zhang Jian whether there was a child or not, because the two were not all the way, and there were a few reasons for the divorce.
First, she found that she was pregnant with the child of her ex -boyfriend after marriage. After learning that she was pregnant, she refused to have the same room with Zhang Jian and confessed the fact that she was pregnant.Jian had no feelings, so he wanted to end this intricate marriage through divorce.
Secondly, she felt that Zhang Jian had two different faces before and after marriage. He pretended to be well before marriage, but exposed her nature after marriage, making her feel that living with Zhang Jian was not happy at all.
She said that because of pregnancy, she could not meet some of Zhang Jian’s requirements. Zhang Jian knew, and he also said that he could accept it, but he showed dissatisfaction everywhere and moved her.
After that, Xiaofang also showed some scars on his hands and legs, claiming that Zhang Jian left her.She said that after the two were married, Zhang Jiantian proposed to be in the same room with her. The husband and wife were real, but her body was not allowed at all. The two often quarreled about it. In the anger, Zhang Jian hit her.
Xiao Fang’s words made Zhang Jian, who was calm, and suddenly became excited. He said that he had never moved. Instead, Xiaofang often smashed him with a chair. He accidentally injured her in order to prevent Xiaofang.
Zhang Jian had a lot of helplessness for this marriage. He said that he was the only child in the family. Marrying a daughter -in -law was to find a person to have a child together. How could it be so difficult?
Even though Xiaofang had a bad attitude towards him, Zhang Jian and his family still wanted to retain this marriage, so after the first communication was not smooth, they conducted a second mediation.
However, the mediation this time is not smooth. Under the questioning of the mediator, although Xiao Fang knew her mistake, she still did not confirm Zhang Jian’s mistakes for her mistakes. Instead, she was silent. Zhang Jian was right.Xiaofang’s behavior was very dissatisfied. She pulled off her mask and wanted everyone to see her.
Xiaofang covered her face with her hands. Then she said that this was why she was going to divorce Zhang Jian. Zhang Jian was very unstable. She didn’t want to live for the rest of her life with a person with emotional instability.
The mediation officer warned Zhang Jian that even if Xiaofang did something wrong, he naturally had laws and moral constraints. He should not do it to her. If he wanted to mediate well, he should pay attention to personal words and deeds.
After hearing the resolute tone of Xiaofang, Zhang Jian may be aware that they can’t go back, and then give up the adjustment. When I go home, I took the greeted ceremony and the dress that Xiaofang got married when I got married.He may want to express his dissatisfaction in this way and say goodbye to the past.
In the end, Zhang Jian consulted the lawyer and filed a lawsuit to the court, asking Xiaofang to return the related expenses such as "no husband and wife after marriage".
At this point, the marriages of the two have ended.
In the marriage of Zhang Jian and Xiaofang, it is obviously Xiao Fang. Although she has been blame Zhang Jian, she is actually very clear. In the whole thing, the biggest problem is her.
In the six months of dating the two, Xiaofang did not have loyalty. She had a close relationship with Zhang Jian while working with Zhang Jian. Later, Zhang Jian proposed to get married.After accepting Zhang Jian’s proposal, she buried her hidden danger for her marriage with Zhang Jian.
Perhaps Xiaofang believes that she is not wrong. After all, she frankly confessed the fact that she was pregnant in the first time she knew about pregnancy, but her frankness was still harmful to Zhang Jian, because at the beginning, sheThere is no loyalty to feelings, touching the bottom line of marriage and emotion, which is also deception.
If she told Zhang Jian that she had other men before marriage, although Zhang Jian would be sad, she would not feel so aggrieved and sad.
The marriage between the two has no love from the beginning. Zhang Jian is because of his age and under pressure, so he wants to find someone to get married. From his tone, the purpose of his marriage is to complete his parents want him to have a child to have a child.Wishes, he is not willing to divorce Xiaofang, but he is not reluctant to be this person, but feels that he spends a lot of money and is unwilling.
And Xiaofang chose to marry Zhang Jian, just to get old, just to find someone to get married.
Marriage is not a child’s drama. There is no emotional marriage, and it is destined not to be happy.
In addition, there have been large cracks between the two’s marriage, and the mirror is difficult. Even if forcibly, there is always a thorn in my heart, and they will not be happy together.
It is better to separate, but it is better to get together, and it is better to each other.
I hope that after this matter, Xiaofang can understand that the most important thing about marriage is loyalty. It is often not other problems that destroy a marriage, but lies.
What do you think about this, we see it.