Recently, my friend talked to me. I used to return to her husband’s house every year. She was pregnant this year. She was pregnant for 6 months. She wanted to return to her mother’s house for a comfortable years, but was opposed by her husband.They also quarreled, and they were so tired. How do you say that this problem should be solved?
In addition, do you discover that during the Spring Festival, all contradictions can use the words "New Year’s New Year" to solve their breath.
Only "who is going back to the New Year", like a time bomb, can detonate the relationship between husband and wife at any time.Even in recent years, the Internet has various reports that are conflicted because of "who returned to the New Year".
A survey by the China Youth Daily Social Survey Center on the 2001 married persons under the age of 35 showed that up to 70.0%of the married young people who are married are being troubled by the question of "who returned to the New Year."(19 -year social survey)
In the concept of traditional concepts, it can only "return to the male family’s house". So far, it can bother as up to 70 % of the married young people. Behind the change reflects the trend of social diversification:
First, people’s ideas have changed. Traditional customs and modern concepts have conflicted. "Men and women equality" has become more and more realistic.
Second, the age of the only children of the only child to support the two sides or even more elderly people has arrived. The pressure on the old -age care of the only children of the married only children is increasingly prominent.
Third, there are more and more marriages across regions. The combined marriage of the north and south is that the contradictions caused by the difference between the two sides and their families, parents, and living customs followed …
So how do you usually solve the problem of "who returned to the New Year"?
1. Two rotations, take turns to celebrate the New Year
For the sake of fairness, many small couples have adopted this retreat and the next solution: the two rotation of the New Year.
There are many ways to rotate:
(1) Back to her mother -in -law’s house this year, and return to my mother -in -law’s house next year;
(2) Twenty -nine of the New Year, the 30th year of the year, the first day of the New Year at the mother -in -law’s house, the second to the seventh day of the New Year at the mother -in -law’s house;
(3) Some people and people in the same place choose to eat lunch at the mother’s house and dinner at the mother -in -law’s house.
Do this to take care of both elderly people. In the reunion of the Chinese New Year, the elderly on both sides can share the joy of Tianlun without loneliness and avoid the friction between the husband and wife.
However, in the New Year, the other is still empty and the two -year -old two -person world, and can only wait for the coming year to reunite to reunite with their children.
If the mother -in -law and the maid’s family are far apart, there are problems with the time, money, and energy paid in the two cities in the purchase of tickets, and the children’s running in the two cities.
2. The two to the same place for the New Year
The significance of the Chinese New Year is "reunion". In order to prevent children from being tangled for "whom", many enlightened parents are willing to go to the other side of the other side with their children; at the same time, data shows that this year’s "reverse Spring Festival" has become an upsurge.EssencePeople no longer return to their hometowns from large cities, but gather together to reunite in the city.
In this way, the two parents who came to the children in the city for the New Year is not a good choice.
With the continuous improvement of young people’s economic strength, they value leisure and entertainment during the holidays.In their opinion, "New Year" is just a long and long holiday. There is no need to go back to my hometown without WiFi, and there is no day when there is no wifi. There is no big business district.
"Going out" can not only get rid of relatives and friends’ dense New Year’s New Year and the customs, but also bid farewell to the various wonderful problems and useless socialization of the seven aunts, eight aunts, and use the red envelopes of human relationships to improve the quality of tourism.Essence
The advantage is that the three families are reunited together, which is conducive to mutual exchanges between family members and realize the real "reunion".
However, the life concepts and dietary habits of the two elderly people are different, and they are together with the young couple, which is prone to friction.At the same time, for the parents of the three generations of the same hall, they also need to take care of their elderly, and they are inconvenient to travel.
The six people can only say that "the ideal is full and the reality is sensible." There are many factors that need to coordinate the time, and the existence of the time of the six people. It is not easy to travel together.
3. Go back to each family and find each mother
Since everyone wants to go back to their own house to accompany their parents, then simply "go back to each family and find each mother."For families with children, children can go home with their mother this year and go home with their dad next year.
Avoid quarrel between husband and wife, fair and reasonable.And when they return to each family, they are comfortable and comfortable, so that the Spring Festival holidays can truly be a festival to relax.
For example, the Internet celebrity blogger Papi sauce and husband love have been married for more than ten years. They have never been to my husband in Shaanxi, and they have returned to their own home and look for their mothers as soon as they arrived in the New Year.
However, this model is often resolutely opposed by some traditional concepts of mother -in -law, and it is also likely to be criticized by relatives and requires young people to have a strong psychological tolerance.
4. Little couple goes out to travel for the New Year
When I was young, the New Year was the most anticipated day in the year.When the winter vacation came, every family began to buy firecrackers, hoarding annual goods, and sticking couplets according to the days of the lunar calendar … Wearing new clothes on New Year’s Eve on New Year’s Eve, there was a rich dinner in the laughter.
But now, it can be eaten at any time, and new clothes do not have to look forward to buying at the end of the year. The expectations for the New Year only have a 7 -day vacation.In the Chinese New Year, the big fish and meat that could not be eaten, the relatives and friends who urged, spawned, and compared with each other, and the relatives who couldn’t get out … none of them were physically and mentally exhausted.
Therefore, many young people have decided to escape!Usually Mo Feng goes home to visit his parents, and goes directly abroad for the New Year.Say goodbye to the crowded Spring Festival in China, embrace the sun beach and the old captain.
Stay away from human relationships and high fares and difficult tickets at home. Take a good rest in the Spring Festival holiday and use beauty to soothe the physical and mental body and mind of the year.
But this method is often strongly opposed by parents of both parties!protest!Even crying …
5. Who’s home in the New Year, shouldn’t be a "problem"
There are many solutions for "who back to". The key is whether they can think for each other.The most important thing is to use "who returned to who shows his strength, suppress each other, and compete for the" right to speak "for marriage. What is competing is not to return to anyone, but who has status at home and who says it.
Otherwise, quarrels and contradictions can be easily upgraded and out of control, bringing incredible cracks to the feelings of both parties.
No matter what kind of Chinese New Year, both the husband and wife should figure out the center of the Chinese New Year to go home for the New Year, that is, to return to the flavor of the New Year, and reflect on the true feelings.
In this case, the couple will explain and communicate with the parents of both parties in advance, so that the parents of both parties will know that even if the child is not around, he still miss and care for himself.
If the couple of children, if they can usually communicate, understand, and tolerate each other, then no matter which way to go home from the New Year, it will not cause too much contradictions and conflicts.
More importantly, if the husband and wife can usually "go home and see", or take the parents of both parties to receive a planned manner, then the parents of both parties will not make the parents too lonely and sad because the child’s Spring Festival is not around.Essence
Marriage and family need to operate, in fact, understanding and understanding each other.If both sides can do this, then "whoever returns to the New Year" will not be a problem.